Blatant Lies

second bit

[SWAYZE: (looking at his outfit with disgust) You look like you were dressed by a plague riot!]


[TIMBA: You should know: you designed it!]

[laughter as Swayze shrugs]

[SWAYZE: Postmodern man.]


[DELAY: Barbara or Yolandi, Timba?]

[TIMBA: Definitely the Yolandi, Delay/Baby. (The words are stereo-mixed so that the left hears “Delay” and the right hears “Baby”]

[Each half of Timba is behaving differently. The half of Context-Surface in Swayze’s room displays him standing with his hands in his pockets directly facing Swayze, looking over his shoulder to address Delay when she speaks. On Delay’s side he has moved close to her, touching her hair and kissing her neck. She responds cooperatively as if he is in the room with her. The audio is composite-spliced to allow each ear to hear what he is saying to each person in each room, with subheader text scrolling across Context-Surface to allow the viewer to read both halves as they’re delivered]

[TIMBA: I’m on my way over once I finish up these last few game protocols./I thought you said he was spending the night with PORTER.COLE and the boys.]

[SWAYZE: Don’t take too long or dinner will get cold!]

[In the Communal Room one can see a pot of boiling hot soup appear on the table. Its dynamic popularity on FEED is ticking down by two decimals every second.]


[DELAY: He decided to stay home tonight for VISIONQUEST because he’s been getting Oedipal. I had to tell him you were coming over or he’d be suspicious!]

[SWAYZE: Delay? Are you talking to yourself again?]

[Delay standing beside Delay is introduced to Swayze’s room. She stands beside herself, apparently having a conversation, while Swayze’s Timba gives them both an eyebrow wiggle that Swayze doesn’t notice and then winks at the camera.]


[DELAY: Yes dear, I’m just asking myself which face makes me look less surgical.]

[SWAYZE: It’s all surgical, honey!]


[TIMBA: Can’t you get rid of him for an hour? You’ve only got a day left until your fertility check and I want to not make a baby with you more than I want functional universal health care for the former nation’s suffering masses.]

[crowd wolf-whistles and hollars suggestively as he takes her by the waist and they kiss passionately]

[DELAY: I know! I’ll get my son to distract him with one of those silly social games!]

[SWAYZE: How much longer, honey?]

[DELAY: Give me just two generations and a rebuilding effort, dear!]

[laughter as Swayze shakes his head and looks at the camera helplessly]

[Bieber is in his room swatting at large glowing flies. Each fly changes colours every time he swats at it from red to orange down through yellow and green to blue and then purple. Each color shift causes the insect’s movements to become slower and less erratic. The walls are a red curtain which is slowly lowering. When he finally claps one between his hands, a blue, the room’s walls “lift” a tinly little bit more to reveal something behind them. Unfortunately, Bieber is too slow and clumsy to swat any fly moving faster than a blue. In the time it takes for him to clap one, the lift he’s received from the previous has been negated.]

[DELAY: Honey, you father wants to talk to you about that game you were playing yesterday!]

[BIEBER: Sorry mom! Doing my workout!]


[DELAY: Honey, you can work out while you’re doing your studies!]

[BIEBER: But I’m not in the Aesthetics mobvec!]

[laughter as Delay crosses her arms and gives him “the look.” Her facial expression remains the same but text overhead displays “THE LOOK” with big red arrows pointing at it. Bieber sighs.]

[BIEBER: Fine, I’ll lose these five pounds the normal way.]

[Bieber calls the MedCorps building]

[DOCTOR: Hi again! Need another Angstiotomy?]


[BIEBER: I need to lose five pounds.]

[DOCTOR: Aaaaand?]

[Bieber puts his hands on his hips and scowls at the doctor]

[BIEBER: And nothing! Get off my back, doc!]

[The doctor just smirks]

[BIEBER: (defeated) Fine, and an Angstiotomy.]


[DELAY: (talking to Swayze as herself and the other Delay climbs underneath the sheets of her bed with Timba) Honey! Bieber wanted to talk to you!]

[SWAYZE: No no, not again. It’s your turn to check his sperm count.]


[DELAY: Not about that! Just talk to him dear, while I sort out my (she giggles) physiology.]

[Swayze relocates from his leisure room through the Communal Room to Bieber’s liesure room while the mound of blankets in Delay’s Sleeping Room writhes and murmurs]

2 January 2013